It’s been a lovely weekend watching the cricket, and cursing Jupiter the god of rain, for conspiring with the Australians yesterday…
Drunk has added a bit to Jerry Hall’s maxim that to keep a man, you must be a maid in the living room, a cook in the kitchen and a whore in the bedroom, and suggested that perhaps the ideal woman would also be a mute in the tv room. Apparently I get bored and ask questions to which I already know the answer.
So this afternoon, trying to find a hole in his encyclopaedic cricket trivia knowledge, I asked what the lowest ever single innings test match score was. He didn’t know! So we googled it, and after a bit of foraging, found out that it was 26 (he had hazarded 24) made by New Zealand at home against England in 1955. He also didn’t know the highest, although he thought it was 936. Again, I trawled the web, and took another 20 or so minutes to find out that it was Sri Lanka against India in Colombo in 1997/8, a score of 952. Unfortunately, as India had taken two days over their first innings, the end result was a draw.
The site we found this snippet on, although underwhelming in its presentation, has several useless facts guaranteed to delight cricket nerds, although it is slightly less than reverant about the whole concept of game facts. Still, the page we found ourselves on is worth a visit, if just for the name…
What has happened? If bloody cricket statistics are going to be the next hot topic can we keep going with BB for a bit? you’ve even sent TT spiralling into a sea of apathy.Surely a tirade against gate gourmet is in the offing?
Hey there Doctor… I am worried you may be disappointed – I was planning a review of my favourite restaurant of all time today. Although I am sure I will be back in full rant mode soon. To be honest I can’t muster up the bile to write vitriol about the whole Gate Gourmet thing, although I will try and scour the papers today for something worthy of my thundering rage…
… although I am drafting a post about an estate agency which crossed me recently. So if anyone can think of ways I can promote it coming high up on google, that would be great.
Nice entry, dear (as the ailing comedian no doubt said… etc.)
No – thing is, I’m not entirely sure about the way I come out of it all. Reputation-wise and all that. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve really no complaint with me being portrayed as a geek or anything – I secretly take it as a compliment, as it goes. And it sure beats the hell out of ‘Drunk’ – but I feel I must take some issue with these alleged “gaps” in my cricketing knowledge.
After all, it’s not that I didn’t “know” these things, as such. It was more a corridor of uncertainty…
PS. Who’s Kate Gourmet?
I’ve been busy Doc!
Sing it with me…
Countin’ flowers on the wall
That don’t bother me at all
Playing solitaire till dawn
With a deck of 51
Smoking cigarettes and….
Watching-Cap’n-Kangaroo
On TVeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
So don’t tell Meeeeeeeeeee
I’ve nothing to DoooHooo!
If we are doing best restaurants of all time, mine has to be the McDonalds on the Bloomsburg-Berwick road, PA. Although I did like the Salisbury steak on the C5 heading there, the place had a certain atmos!
Recidivist, first I’d like to apologise…your site is worth so much more than this…but unfortunately it’s all I’ve got! Anyway, you promised not to censor me, and we both have our principles to protect. Me to keep pushing, and you to stand up for the freedom of speech that you hold so dear!
Doc, been thinkin’ about my Tourette’s, and……
I once heard a female character on Casualty say (and this may of been before the watershed)…”Oh God, that hurts like buggery!”
Let us break that down…”Oh Lord, that hurts like a man manipulating his penis thru my sphincter muscle, into my anus and then repeatedly thrusting (piston like) in and out of my alimentary canal!”
Now I don’t know about you Doctor, but to me…that’s a little more unsettling than saying ‘f**k’ once and a while…So maybe rather than point a finger at me, you should be writing a strongly worded letter, all the way to the BBC!
Anyhow, admittedly and undoubtedly I do not have the privileged education of some of the contributors to this forum. My words, grammar, punctuation etc, are based solely on what feels right, rather than any formal rules…but as Science might say…
‘at the end of the day’
…words are just social constructions, and in challenging that, am I really doing anything different from what this site is supposed to be all about?
Cue moral indignation!
F**kin’ A, Viva Tourette’s!
Good to have you back on board TT…Is Ricky Ponting Cap’n Kangaroo? To my surprise I watched the Australians squirm out of the jaws of certain defeat today and really quite enjoyed myself. Kate Gourmet? derrr, she’s Prince Williams girlfriend duffus…
Duffus? Surely you mean doofus – I’m a doofus…
Duffus is the scottish spelling..duffus
I’m guessing that was a cricket joke? Nope…it was a kids show in the States…the song was a hit in the 80’s. I think it was actually called flowers on the wall…dunno!
Anyway, I hate cricket, it’s crap!
Tony, I am not sure what this site is supposed to be all about, so if you have managed to define it, then thank you. Despite the fact that I only censor you when you have requested it, and apart from that, I only censor spam, I am going to ask you nicely not to write homophobic or racist things on here. Not that they are overtly so, but I am concerned about your subtexts. I am, after all, a Guardian reading lefty.
Now, about your opinion of cricket…
Please don’t gag TT, I feel like I’m getting into his soul.
Re: Tony’s opinion of cricket
…yeah – sounds a bit gay to me.
Don’t tell me…Dave is Drunk?
Yeah, you’re right Recidivist, you got me! This has nothing to do with taking a swipe at over-zealous, politically correct hypocrisy and everything to do with my secret hatred of ethnic minorities and homosexuals!
Anyway, a man sticking his c**k in a woman’s ass is only homo if he is thinking about another man!
None the less, I’m hearing you on FM and I’ll knock it off!
Further more, I apologise about the cricket gaff…clearly far more offensive than even my homo-ethnic phobias!